This post is brought to you in honor of the Olympics, which I haven't watched a minute of except for a few minutes during the opening ceremonies wondering why k.d. lang was performing "Hallelujah" and wondering why k.d. lang was the biggest star they could get to perform. Then I saw Steve Nash, and I was like, "Oh yeah! They have to use their people!" I mean, after ice hockey and Alex Trebek, what has Canada given the world? Anyway, I haven't done a survey in almost six months, and I think this one is gonna be a humdinger. I am even offering a prize. I want to know your most embarrassing moment. The winner gets their very own Tony Montana talking keychain. The contest lasts through the end of the month (which is Sunday), so tell your friends. I want at least twenty entries. They don't have to be regular visitors to the blog, or even know me.
I have to say, I'm kinda hard to embarrass. If I do something outrageous that wasn't on purpose, I do a pretty good job of laughing about it. But that wasn't always the case. I was pretty self-conscious growing up. The story that comes to mind happened when I was 14 and our church took a waterboating trip to nearby Willard Bay with all the young men and women. I took my turn, and I felt the wake ripping my trunks off, but was unable to let go because another kid was using the same tube and had his arm across mine. Eventually we wiped out, and we switched off. The leader who had been driving asked, "Do you want to get in?" I remained silent and sat there just kinda drifting and hoping they would forget about me and let me drown with dignity. Making things worse was that my number one junior high crush was in the boat, and the water was cold, so if she got the full monty, I wouldn't be at my, ahem, best. Then a lady drove her boat up holding the offending trunks up and asked the passengers if they belonged to someone there. I became a punchline even for those who hadn't witnessed it. As years have passed, I've developed the ability to laugh at my own expense, even more so than I do at others. But I still want to laugh at you, too. This is a celebration of pain and humiliation. Ladies and gentlemen, the floor is yours...
This is nowhere near as humiliating. When I was in high school, I noticed an older girl had a piece of hair on her cheek. I thought I would be nice and take it off, but then I realized it was attached to her cheek! It wouldn't have been as embarrassing if I knew her.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I thought of one! I embarrass myself daily, (usually through words) so it was difficult to narrow it down...
ReplyDeleteA couple of years ago my friend Matt S, I heard through the grapevine, called me a Big Girl. I couldn't let him get away with that, so I sent him a text that said, "Big, huh? Girls don't like being called big. Butt head." He never responded, so I thought I had won, perhaps.
Next day at work, my boss (ALSO Matt S) said to me, "Did someone tell you that I called you big?"
Reality slapped me across the face when I realized I had sent that text to my BOSS. A text calling the recipient a BUTT HEAD, no less! Who does that?! The only thing that makes the situation less bad is that my boss is awesome and he laughed about it. I sort of wanted to die and couldn't look at my boss the rest of the day.
My most embarrassing moment (even though I laugh about it now) happened almost 8 years ago at my wedding reception. My new husband and I were about to cut into our wedding cake when my aunt/photographer stepped back to take a picture. That is what sent her tripping backwards over my niece. My poor aunt was grasping at the air trying to find anything to save her from crushing the 6-year-old. What did her hand find? My Veil. Being a well prepared bride, I had that veil all but super glued to my hair style. It wrenched my head back and sent me to the ground. Which is where I stayed crouched for a while, hidden from all the guests who were gasping and craning their necks trying to see the damage. Hidden from all except my other aunt who snapped pictures of my tear stained cheeks and red eyes.
ReplyDeleteMy story is from my very first date. I took a girl to the state fair and had a good time, and since it was my first date, I recited in my head the things I thought I needed to do on the date: open doors, walk to porch, etc. We pulled into her driveway and started the small talk, but she just kept sitting there, so I started thinking.."what does she want?" Then I thought, "it's dark! maybe she can't see the door handle to get out." So, gentleman that I was, I flipped on the overhead light and pointed politely and said, "the handle's right there." She looked at me a little odd and opened the door and walked into her home. I was driving home, thinking what fun we'd had and then realized what I had done. That would've been a good line had I not liked her, but even then, it's not something I would've said. Not sure where that came from.
ReplyDeleteI have so many embarrassing moments...I don't know which one to pick! Not nearly as great as the stories above, but at my sister's funeral a year and a half ago, my youngest who had needed to use the restroom at least twenty times during the service, dropped his drawers in front of about forty guests or so and relieved himself.
ReplyDeletei too, have a lot and don't know which to share. umm...
ReplyDeletethe time I went to the temple but forgot a white bra (one of my first times doing baptisms in rexburg )They told me they had white sports bras for the girls, so i ask for one, but she gave me a pair of panties instead. (i was in the changing stall and she just handed them over)I had to get re-dressed in my dress and ask for a bra when i unfolded it and realized it was panties and not a bra. She was embarassed. and I was embarassed because the rest of my ward had been waiting for me for about 10 minutes to start!
or could be the time we went ice-skating as a YM/YW group thing when I was a mia maid. Being the klutz that I am on solid ground, made for a lot of falling down on ice skates. I got skating pretty good but then felt my self start to fall, so I stuck my hands out to hopefully reach the wall before i fell, but ended up grabbing my mia maid leader's chest full on. She was very nice about it and laughed told me it was okay and she was glad to help. ...Then I had to skate to the other side of the rink to get out....only to end up falling on my toosh and splitting not only my pants but my underwear. (thank goodness for hoodies to tie around the waist!)
ReplyDeleteOK! I will tell!
ReplyDeleteSo I am maybe 10 and I was invited to a Jazz game with my friend and her older sister and parents. Her parents sat in the awesome seats center court and we always sat in the nosebleed section. Well you know how little those steps are and how big my feet are, plus we are in nosebleed so I am hyperventilating anyway? You see where it's going. I am also carrying two pops in my hand...neither of which were mine. I am in the middle. My friend's sister was in front and my friend is behind me. I go up a few steps, trip and fall. some pop goes out. I get up embarrassed to all heck and then go down again after another few steps.. some more pop comes out. Well that might be enough but no...I fall again slipping some more on the pop.(maybe that is why I don't drink pop..hmm.) So anyway the third time tripping I hear people mumbling "Is she okay" "Is she special"? You get the idea. By the time we got to our seats both pops were empty and my friends sister was soaked as a lot of the pop flew up on her as well as me and everyone is still staring at me while laughing/feeling bad for the special girl.
When I was 17 my parents sent me to Kent's to get a few groceries. When I was in the check-out line a nice little 14 year old boy was bagging the food. We made small talk and he asked if he could take the groceries out to my car. I declined and started to walk off. Then I turned around and said, "Bye. I love you lots." (Our family always said that as we were leaving somewhere-just a habit). He got the HUGEST smile on his face said, "Really?" Immediately I turned red and said, "Ummm....never mind. Did I just say that?" Then I ran out to my car as fast as I could and made a vow that from then on I would only shop at Smith's.
ReplyDeleteit was my last transfer on my mission when I noticed there was blood in my stool. I thought "huh, that's not normal." So, I called Pres. Hoggan and he told me to call the doctor. I did as directed, and explained my systems. He told me it sounded like an ulcer, and instructed me to get medication, and informed me it would be a suppository. I thought "that doesn't sound like muc fun at all." But after a little bit of bickering, I relented and bought the medication. When I got home with the small box, I opened it... and it was in a tube. So now I'm thinking "what the crap am I supposed to do with this??" So I called the doctor back up, and he told me they must have sold me a vaginal cream. By now, I'm quite angry. I called up Pres. Hoggan and sasked him if I look like I have a vagina. Presidente just laughed. He said "I know you've gone through a lot on this mission, but I just want you to know I've enjoyed it."
ReplyDeleteSo there you go. Some idiot pharmacist sold me vaginal cream. Beat that, anyone.
I was on a date in High School (will not mention who) and after picking up our friends at their house we got up to leave. I walked straight into the glass door and then proceeded to hit the ground. Not my finest moment but we did all laugh.
ReplyDeleteI went to a small high school of about 300 students. It was one of those places where everyone knew everyone.
ReplyDeleteWell, one day we had a pep rally for some sporting event. It just happened that it was right before the Sadie Hawkins dance. I mustered up all my courage and asked a guy to the dance. So we were at the pep rally and it was time to do class competitions. The cheerleaders chose a guy and girl from each class to compete. They just "happened" to choose me and the guy I asked out to compete for our class. I was kind of excited to be chosen with him- until, I found out what the competition was. We had to wheelbarrow race down to one end of the gym, switch who was the wheelbarrow and who was holding ankles and then go back. I was chosen to be the wheelbarrow first. As I knelt down on the floor and he grabbed my ankles I knew it wasn't going to be good. They blew the whistle and we started out okay but then- well, I guess he really, really wanted to win because he started pushing me really fast. I was doing my best to keep my little arms moving but finally I couldn't keep up and I landed, hard, on my chest with my arms down by my side. But he didn't STOP. Nope, he kept pushing me, on my chest, down the gym floor. In front of EVERYONE!! I was humiliated. And it didn't help that when I got back to my seat my best friend leaned over and told me how embarrassed she would have been if it would have been her.
I loved high school.