Monday, July 27, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Jackson staring into the Great Beyond and mulling his future plans of Goldfish crackers and a smoothie.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I used to love summer. And while there are still parts of it I appreciate (mostly movies and barbecues), the wistful summers of my childhood, high school, and even college years are history. Mostly it's just hot. And nowhere do I feel it more than in sports. I like baseball, and in fact that was my favorite sport growing up, but I think I am more in love with the history and its Americanness than anything going on right now. It's not something I sit around for every day. Football I could watch for hours. It's really the only game that you get a chance to miss (and usually I start missing it shortly after the Super Bowl). The NBA Finals go into mid to late June, for heaven's sake. Every game in football counts. College, NFL... I don't care. I don't want to wish away the next few weeks, because we have a fantastic (and rare) anniversary trip to New York City coming up. The season is almost here, but it's Sunday afternoon, and I've just got the itch. But soon, my precious. 350-pound men in skintight jerseys, the crunching of helmets and bones, receivers having the ball sail over their heads and getting knocked into next week... oh yes, precious, fall is almost upon us.
P.S. I will be taking a hiatus from my Lighten Up Your Monday column due to low interest and having some other things I want to write about. If you miss it, let me know, and I'll give it another whirl and see if I can drum up a little more interest.
Monday, July 13, 2009
I am phoning it in a little on this week's "Lighten Up Your Monday," but hopefully you will still laugh, because it's Ricky Gervais, a certified comedy genius. His newest movie, The Invention of Lying, features the novel concept of a world where nobody lies, and his character tells the world's first lie, coming to wield its power for personal gain. I laughed my butt off at the trailer, and hope you do too. It opens September 25. Have a great start to the workweek!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Is it clowns? A lot of people get freaked out by clowns. I personally am okay with them, although Pennywise from It is pretty freaky. Better yet, is it a children's marketing ploy gone terribly wrong?
Is it Pierce Brosnan singing? For those of you who haven't seen Mamma Mia!, the look on poor Pierce's face as he croons is even more scary and uncomfortable than the coyote-in-a-trash-compactor sounds of his warbling. He looks like he's passing a kidneystone.
The only thing I can think of that is a really irrational fear for me is power saws. I really hate getting cut, and although I've never fallen prey to one, I don't wanna. They're just moving so fast, and they don't even cut cleanly... I really prefer to stay away from them altogether. I feared loss of limb from Jason Voorhees as a young man walking home from my friend Brandon's house after a Friday the 13th marathon.
As I approach 30, I kind of fear old age, or worse, becoming bedridden and getting super fat. While I could lose a few, I'm not orca fat, and not in danger of becoming that way, but I am a little freaked out and a little prejudiced towards ginormous people. So I guess going to county and state fairs, or anywhere else that white trash gathers, I get a little creeped out. Anyway, that's enough from me. I've now alienated my obese demographic (and let's face it, that's everyone reading this... just kidding!) What about you? The time is yours.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Happy Monday! Hopefully you all had a wonderful 4th of July weekend. I know I did. We visited my fam up in Brigham City, ate some truly excellent bacon burgers, played fetch with Ike, and played some H-O-R-S-E at the church. And Sunday was a perfect sit-around day. Now with only a few weeks to go until the New York trip, it's truly back to the grindstone, since we are in need of play money.
Christopher Walken is seriously one of my favorite entertainers. The truth is, I love any acclaimed actor who can succeed in comedy, which is not only more difficult but shows a willingness to lose the ego and not take oneself too seriously (yes, I'm talking to you, Sean Penn and Russell Crowe). Walken has been almost exclusively in comedies for the last decade or so, and his deadpan affect, sudden off-beat pauses, the strange, almost Shatneresque speech rhythm are somehow perfect for dumb comedies like Balls of Fury and SNL hosting gigs. It's easy to forget he's an Oscar-winning actor. This clip seemed perfect for my weekly "Lighten Up the Mondays" segment. No other actor could read The Three Little Pigs quite like this: