Monday Morning With Biff and MJ

This is Thomas F. Wilson, best known as Biff Tannen on Back to the Future. He has transitioned into a career as a comedian and musician. I first heard his routine a couple of months ago when he was a guest on a conservative talk show (that's right, he's a Hollywood Republican, which is not as uncommon as you might think). I think he's pretty funny, and a perfect way to lighten up Monday morning, and hopefully you will too.

On a side note, sorry for being lazy about my June blogging (for those who noticed). I haven't felt like I had much to say. Five out of six June entries were the Monday morning happy hour. I am feeling more in the mood now, and I will be blogging three times per week (including the Monday thing, a midweek post and another near the weekend, which will probably most often be Friday). The surveys will now be only a monthly feature, in an effort to maximize interest, and I have lots of other tricks up my sleeve as well. As a final thought today, much has already been said about Michael Jackson, and I will say only that I am surprised at how much I felt the loss. He is one of those rare celebrities that you can specifically remember moments of your life that he was involved in. This is probably on the same level as Elvis, John Lennon, or even Princess Di. We won't see another like him again (and I'm not just talking about the freak show that his life became in the last 15 years or so). Eight out of the top ten music videos of all time are Jackson's, and no less an authority than Fred Astaire called him the best dancer he had ever seen. I hope he finds peace, and that he's remembered for the right reasons.

Monday Morning Gutbuster with Jack Black and Will Ferrell

Jack Black and Will Ferrell "Get Off the Stage" Oscar song - watch more funny videos

Welcome back from Father's Day weekend. I hope you all (all two of you) had a great time. My weekend was extraordinary. I took my woman to the early showing of The Proposal with Sandra Bullock on Saturday, then to partake of some Thai food. And Sunday was awesome, as I got spoiled almost all day, starting with breakfast in bed, then going on with a long nap in the afternoon and steak for dinner. And last night we did something we never do. We watched a late movie (Twister) and ate leftovers, getting to bed just before 1 AM. So I am pretty well ready to take on the week, although I know not all of you feel that way, and this is for you. It's from the 2004 Oscars. I love Sean Connery's face in the audience as he loses his composure and laughs his butt off. Enjoy!

P.S. You may need to click the link on this one to get it started.

Dave Chappelle as a Black White Supremacist

I am a little late to save everyone from Monday morning.  Sorry.  I went on an early-morning mountain bike ride and got back later than anticipated.  But hopefully you enjoy this clip from Chappelle's Show about the blind, black white supremacist Clayton Bigsby, which first aired in 2003.  The idea of a black KKK leader was genius, so some of you have probably seen it.  Either way, it's good for a laugh.

Clayton Bigsby - Watch a funny movie here

Warning to Eskimo Bob: Stop Making Fun of the Disabled!

I've been under the weather recently with a nasty cough, and as such have been somewhat disinterested in posting anything but the weekly Monday Morning Gutbuster, but due to some really good prescribed meds, I'm feeling much better and realized today that I was in the mood for a little writing. I mentioned in my last post that my good friend Eskimo Bob recorded a fake interview last week with Chris Burke, the actor who played Corky, the Down Syndrome student on Life Goes On. At first I was impressed and excited. I thought, how nice. Bob has moved up to interviewing former C-list celebrities... he seems like a nice kid... I guess it's conceivable that he could be from Anchorage, or visiting. Then I realized that this was Bob... he and his race know no boundaries of decency... wait a minute, let's check Wikipedia... Corky is from New York! And now he makes a living as a motivational speaker! I was horrified. I laughed vigorously at the political incorrectness of it all, and the sheer balls it takes for someone to hire somebody to impersonate the voice of a person with significant disabilities and pretend he didn't know the difference between his real sister and his TV sister, and sing a song. I still laugh. It was brilliant in the same way as Borat.

However, I've been doing some research, and discovered than in movie folklore, people with severe mental impairments often gain superhuman strength and/or killing ability. Lawnmower Man, anybody? Sling Blade? The Toxic Avenger was a mere nerd, but same principle. And above them all, one Mr. Jason Voorhees. In the space of less than two movies (and the same number of years), Jason went from this...

to this. And Chris Burke has the potential to be the ultimate slasher film bad-ass. He might not even conform to normal horror movie conventions. He may not even distinguish between illicit teenage promiscuity and normal, upright relations between man and wife. So, Eskimo Bob, tread carefully.

Monday 'Roid Rage

Monday morning already? That means I've gone an entire week without blogging. The reason for that is mostly that I've had a really bad cough and cold and just plain didn't feel like it. We did have a great weekend, though, with no kids and very few responsibilities. So thanks to my parents for taking our little varmints. With better health it would have been the perfect weekend. But still, it's not every weekend that the Mrs. and I are able to sleep in with impunity and go where we want when we want (which happened to be nowhere most of the time, and since relaxation was our real objective, there's nothing to complain about).

On to our Monday morning business. I hope, as always, that these clips brighten your day. And it comes with a moral: don't mess with Governor Schwarzenegger when he's clearly under the influence of steroids. If you do, you'll get the worst case of Adult Onset Shaken Baby Syndrome ever. The second video is a documentary about South Park's Jimmy, who found out the hard way how pathetic cheaters are. As usual, the ending monologue is brilliant (and includes an tongue-lashing for Cartman, who feigns retardedness to get into the Special Olympics, which somehow seems appropriate, given Eskimo Bob's recent impersonation of Corky from Life Goes On... you can't get more shameful than that). I think what's really sad is that we don't even blink when Roger Clemens or Manny goes down in flames. We expect baseball players to be doping. Honestly, when I found out about A-Roid a few months ago, I didn't even blink. Kind of a shame that baseball can't seem to go a decade without a scandal that threatens its very existence. But I digress. Have a great Monday, everyone!

Monday Morning Humor (And Welcome to June!)

I'm going old school for this week's post. I don't know exactly when they did it, but it struck me as pretty funny, and even better, the guy playing the drunk was a teetotaler in real life. Anyway, enjoy, and have a great workweek.