Warning to Eskimo Bob: Stop Making Fun of the Disabled!

I've been under the weather recently with a nasty cough, and as such have been somewhat disinterested in posting anything but the weekly Monday Morning Gutbuster, but due to some really good prescribed meds, I'm feeling much better and realized today that I was in the mood for a little writing. I mentioned in my last post that my good friend Eskimo Bob recorded a fake interview last week with Chris Burke, the actor who played Corky, the Down Syndrome student on Life Goes On. At first I was impressed and excited. I thought, how nice. Bob has moved up to interviewing former C-list celebrities... he seems like a nice kid... I guess it's conceivable that he could be from Anchorage, or visiting. Then I realized that this was Bob... he and his race know no boundaries of decency... wait a minute, let's check Wikipedia... Corky is from New York! And now he makes a living as a motivational speaker! I was horrified. I laughed vigorously at the political incorrectness of it all, and the sheer balls it takes for someone to hire somebody to impersonate the voice of a person with significant disabilities and pretend he didn't know the difference between his real sister and his TV sister, and sing a song. I still laugh. It was brilliant in the same way as Borat.

However, I've been doing some research, and discovered than in movie folklore, people with severe mental impairments often gain superhuman strength and/or killing ability. Lawnmower Man, anybody? Sling Blade? The Toxic Avenger was a mere nerd, but same principle. And above them all, one Mr. Jason Voorhees. In the space of less than two movies (and the same number of years), Jason went from this...

to this. And Chris Burke has the potential to be the ultimate slasher film bad-ass. He might not even conform to normal horror movie conventions. He may not even distinguish between illicit teenage promiscuity and normal, upright relations between man and wife. So, Eskimo Bob, tread carefully.