A Cause For Lip Balm

Tomorrow is the birthday of my one and only see-stor, Gina (pronounced Hee-na), so I thought we'd go through some of her favorite things. First off, decrepit old bony rock stars with ginormous lips and skintight pants. Who wouldn't want a piece of that action? And with her addiction to Chapstick, Gina can more than hold her own with the Mick, Steven Tyler, or anyone else who wants to suck face (although it will probably hasten her usage of the balm to every two minutes instead of her usual five). Anyone who wants to see Gina look like a total junkie, hide her chapstick. You might as well be waterboarding her.

Next, the luminous Barbra Streisand. Gina's idol. Before she goes to bed every night, she prays to a graven image of Babs, and always asks herself "What would Barbra do?" I don't know why she loves her so much, but she started the Utah/Idaho chapter of Cawfee Tawk. And she has developed some of her stubbornness too. From the time she was a tweener, no matter how badly she gets beaten, she always has to throw the last punch. Actually, sometimes it's more of a limp-wristed slap that just lands on the wrong part of the shoulder or neck that stings enough to force you to go back to give a few more Charlie Horses, Indian Burns, or Texas Chili Bowls.

A couple of banana slugs, who appear to be mating or something. They're kinda gross, slimy little critters, but from Gina's reaction to bananas (the fruit), you would think that they were slugs, or maggots, or worse.

Come to think of it, Gina acts like that with a lot of foods. The above picture (weedrats, as featured on Shrek, I presume) represents Gina's default reaction to anything she thinks she doesn't like. Sometimes, she changes her mind, like with grilled pineapple, then she struts around like she invented the stuff. But mostly, she is too weak-minded to accept the deliciousness of donuts, coconut, shrimp, coconut shrimp, any kind of seafood (even halibut, which may very well be what God eats), and dozens of other delicacies. And then she goes and tries stuff like haggis. I know it's possible to consciously change your palate, because I acquired a taste for a number of previously unliked food during my mission, and just last year, decided I really wanted to like pickles, and was able to accomplish that with some superior mindpower.

Anyway, teasing aside, Gina is a really really great little sister. She loves and spoils my boys, her little nephews, and she's taking us out to Texas Roadhouse the next time we're in Idaho Falls, with no regard of the bill. Here's hoping that this is the year that she finds the man of her dreams, someone masculine enough to tame her wild side, and virile enough to sire a dozen stubborn, picky, Chapstick-wearing, Streisand-worshiping babies.